This evening I apparently had a dream I had died. As I started to wake, I thought I was waking up to the fact I was dead and somewhere else (wherever death had taken me.) I remember my first waking thoughts being along the lines of, "This can't be. I'm not done over there." I then began to think about what was happening next. That is when I realized I had not died, only fell asleep on the couch. Having thought I had died has created an odd feeling for me this evening/early morning. (napping messed with my normal sleeping time.) I'm wake with many thoughts churning through my mind yet they settle on the basis of the question, "What will life be like for others when I'm gone?" I've also thought heavily upon how much my life was worth at the end... The result leaves me with a strong sense that if my life ended today, I would not be satisfied.
I desire so many more years to experience life with loved ones, more laughs, more tears, more life experience and knowledge. I want to fulfill more dreams and aspirations. I want to leave something behind for those who will inherit the earth after me. I don't have to be remember by the thousands or even hundreds, yet I would love to have left a lasting impression on those in my own little social bubble outside of family. It's a given I leave a mark with them.
This spooky feeling I've had moves me to live however long I do have with more passion, more forgiveness, more truthfulness, more fight, and more mindfulness to savour the bitter and sweet of this crazy thing we call life. Perhaps this is occurring at a good time for me. I've been devoting more time to my passions and re-igniting those old flames for my art. This reminder may keep me moving forward and stop all my procrastinating. I've been quite pleased with the little I've done so far. I've been working on scenic projects so far. Hopefully soon I'll have enough to share on here. I do have a post I'll be making soon about a trip down to Portland. I'll talk more about that later though. Now seems like a good time to end this post for now. It's funny how sometimes dreams can effect us. Hopefully I wasn't having a vision of the near future. Till next time, thanks for reading my post.
Oh Mark, I'll bet your death dream was very disconcerting. You've done a nice job of processing what it meant and the realization that you have much more you want to accomplish and experience!
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